Op/Ed: Be Where You Can Breathe

If you can’t breathe in a shape, you don’t own that shape. Think about the times that you’ve pushed your limits- like that one-fell-swoop-trip with the groceries from the car to the house.

It doesn’t matter how heavy it is, you’ve just got to get from point A to point B without a bag tearing or your circulation getting cut off for too long. So you queue up to 4 bags on each arm and try to juggle the dry goods that weren’t bagged, key poised in-hand for when you get to the door. Your posture, your pace, and your awareness don’t matter- it’s you, these groceries, and the satisfaction of one trip.

Each day, we are tasked with the choice between “everything all at once” and “one thing at a time”. Because of our cultural conditioning, it’s easily and often “everything all at once” that wins out. This can look different from person to person based on their capacity for action, but it manifests very similarly amongst us nonetheless.

Our lives our a series of opportunities to learn new ways of being, determine if they’re useful for our intended outcomes and make decisions based on that. When, though, we get snagged by “everything all at once”, we can see an infinite number of opportunities as daunting and impossible. This can make us freeze, leaving us further from our intended outcomes than we could have been had we made the definitive choices that led us to be where we could breathe. I’ve had the privilege of getting to coach people into adopting this strategy their way.

You can’t breathe in a shape that you hardly know, that you haven’t yet conditioned in your body, or that doesn’t match with the purpose of your training. The fall out from doing everything all at once in movement practice can end up with tissue tears, endurance breakdowns, and emotional burn out. For sustainable practice, you, instead, are taught to break tasks down to the minutiae each time you move in order to get the skill in the body.

This type of “all at once” pattern is present in all aspects of our personal life whether we can identify it or not, especially if we categorize ourselves as “Type A”. I can attest, having spent the most of my adolescent and adult life in active pursuit of the opposite of “being where I could breathe”. I wanted everything to come to fruition all at once and the disappointment of not having that go my way facilitated repeat patterns of self destruction.

In our hustle culture, this myth of “you can have it all” is distorted to encourage us to “actively seek it all, all of the time”. It’s celebrated as ambition and drive, but it can feel like being trapped and unable to breathe. My lens has always been the latter, so it’s novel to come to a place where this no longer is the case. Arriving at “maybe not all, and certainly not all at once” feels like seeing for the first time. So that’s why I’m writing about it.

With behavior change, we go ahead and make a big long list of everything we should be doing to improve ourselves to become the version of ourselves that we expect. This, while well intentioned, is like stacking our plates at the buffet without thinking of the consequences of over-indulgence. Our eyes are bigger than our stomachs, our expectations are larger than our realistic capacity. We end up stuffed, semi-queasy, and ultimately over-satisfied which (IMO) is the same as dissatisfied.

These days, I struggle most with helping the humans I connect with see very acutely how much breathing room they’ve limited, and how unreasonable their expectations of themselves are. When you think about the things that bum you out, cause you stress, or deplete your energy, how do you actually take action? Do you keep grinding the groove til it’s carved out, or do you pivot with grace? I can only speak from the experiences I get to have each day, but it’s abundantly clear that we’ve come to accept something closer to mediocrity for ourselves masked as ambition. We sacrifice so much outwardly with low to no regard for the ways that sacrifice leaves us underserved.

When our cup is empty, we do not have enough to pour out. We become a sieve with energy running through us so quickly we hardly have a chance to enjoy it’s radiance.

Op/Ed: If I Don’t Think, Then I am Naught

Over 400 years ago, “first philosophy” was borne from the consciousness awakening “cogito ergo sum” via Rene Descartes. “I think, therefore I am” is a cornerstone in our hyper-individual culture. From this, we have built tall, immovable self-perceptions; If I think the thing, it is the truth to me and that’s that with that :)

Our minds are an amalgamation of interpretations of sense perception, narratives, and pattern recognition. Because we survive through efficient categorization and forging the “path of least resistance”, our thinking selves receive and process these inputs and move on to the next categorization. This is a perpetual motion process that, in a culture of “go-go-go” and “do-do-do” more and more, doesn’t have the space for “stop and reflect” in the same way that our parents and their parents had.

In Buddhism, the ultimate emptiness of all things is the foundation upon which all thought and reflection is built on. In a moment when “mindfulness” and “meditation” have become nebulous (big thanks to capitalism), returning to the roots has to be the first step to initiating real and sustaining personal change and strength.

For narrators that have written their stories in pen, returning to the true empty nature of things can feel like a loss that initiates a cascade of self-protecting fail-safes. If we are to challenge our categorizations, especially the ones we’ve held close or are deeply entrenched, what does that mean about our “selves”? If we don’t think, what are we? And if we don’t think the way we’ve always thought, are we “me”?

The answer, just like the “chicken v egg”, lies in an acceptance of both. Before and without chickens, eggs exist. Before you were a thinking thing, things were things to other things. The stories existed, exist, and will continue to exist. When your story exists painfully (as is inevitable for all of us), expanding your view- killing your ego- breaks patterns and deprograms the perpetual-motion narrative. Meditation on “thinkinglessness” quite literally uninstalls your pain-points, creating drive space for new opportunities.

May in Your Body

Now that April showers are behind us, May is a month of beauty and bloom. Here in the middle of spring, we’ve begun to clear out the stagnation of winter and thaw the cold, hard blockages. It’s a great time to set yourself up for success for the daylight and warmth of summer, so let’s get after it…

Lifestyle & Routine

The sun is rising earlier (and so are the birds)— here on the sunnier side of the year is a wonderful opportunity to get started with your day sooner and really seize that jawn. The first few moments after wake-up are prime time to set an intention and start on the right foot (even before you put your feet on the floor). Before you grab for your phone, try asking yourself this: “how do I want to feel about myself when I get into bed tonight?”

Because springtime is a time to thaw, clear, and cleanse from the dark, cold winter, little habits like oil puling or tongue scraping take very little commitment and aid in clearing the wastes that accumulate from your body’s nightly cleaning. If you’re really looking to dive in to a new habit, try neti pot (which helps with clearing allergens from the sinuses).

Good routine in the season of sun, growth, and light sets the stage for ample success in your days. not every moment (nor every day) will be high, positive, and progress— but finding 5 minutes in your morning to set the stage will support with stress response and resilience in the immediate moment, and health and flow in the long run.

Diet Staples

Temperatures are still volatile (especially in early may) and clearing and cleansing is still priority. but with summer right around the corner, some staple food stuffs for the month include those with dilating, cooling, and hydrating properties. What goes on inside of us reflects what’s going on around us and, while the body is adaptive, modifying your diet for the season supports your systems so your energy can be directed towards more prudent tasks.

Light and bitter greens like asparagus, brussel sprouts, or arugula are chok full of vitamins and minerals and offer a bitter taste to body tonify your insides skins and stimulate the peristalsis that keeps your wastes moving through your channels of elimination.

As the weather gets warmer, cooling foods like lime, cucumber, avocado will provide the nutrients our bodies need while keeping the system from over heating. In a nutshell, your liver processes all of the byproducts of digestion, filtering out waste before sending the good stuff into the blood stream. Because blood is “hot” (from an eastern perspective), late spring diet into summer should consist of cooler foods to keep your liver function more stable/less over-taxed.

Finally, as the heat kicks up, your body begins sweating and flushing that heat through your skin organ (like how that sounds? skin organ). We need electrolytes quite literally to exist properly, so berries, melons, pineapples (tropical fruits) are robust sources for hydrating sweetness.

What’s Next

The soon-to-arrive summer is the season for being social, being in the sun, and making plans. May is a fabulous month to not only plan vacations, but also to plan for rest and recovery. Sleep/rest/recovery time is important always but falls to the wayside when the outside is nice and it’s fun to go play. Chill, vibe, and live wholly my friends.

5 Simple Strategies to Elevate Your Approach to Behavior Change

Key Takeaways

Sustainable behavior change isn't about forcing yourself into perfection — it's about building systems that honor your humanity. This means having a clear vision, embracing flexibility, staying discerning, and making room for joy along the way. The journey isn't linear, but with the right mindset and tools, it can be deeply rewarding.

• Set your intention clearly, but don't treat it like a straight line to success. Change is uncomfortable and often unpredictable.

• Curate Your Inputs Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does). The internet offers limitless information — and misinformation. Be intentional about what you absorb and who benefits from your attention.

• Growth doesn't have to be rigid or miserable. True transformation happens in the gray area , where curiosity meets discipline and joy meets structure. Fun isn't optional. It's what makes change sustainable.

Start With the End In Mind (And Have Exit Ramps)

“Beginning with the end in mind” is a central pillar in any behavior change process. You cannot begin fruitfully without first pulling at (and sequencing out) the threads of the finished product. That said, behavior change is uncomfortable and uncertain enough to make the process feel daunting and exhausting. Begin with the end in mind, but give yourself space and grace with exit ramps. The process of change will never be linear, and holding a gun to your own head won’t necessarily meet the expectations with true and sustainable change.

Exit ramps, on the highway of life, are relief stations. Hungry? Tired? Really have to pee? There is nothing like a rest stop to refuel and recharge on a long journey. As you begin with the end in mind, where are you incorporating exit ramps- planned or spontaneous- in order to keep the things the things and resist the inevitable fatigue of going nonstop?

Invest in Your Library

In this modern age of hyper-connectivity, you can get any information about anything to validate any belief. Anything (in excess) can be a toxin and anything (in moderation) can reduce harm. The internet provides a wealth of knowledge with low-to-no barriers to access. This is a good thing. The internet also provides an abundance of un-moderated content, heavily influenced and driven by earnings.

Use discretion when engaging in educational content, keep a critical eye on sources and the beneficiaries of your attention. Reading (and critical thought) are skills that can be developed just like any other. Develop those skills as if your life depend on it, because it does. Question everything, including yourself- your aims, your intentions, and your end-game goals- to ensure that the processes that you’re implementing are, in fact, set with your best outcomes in mind.

Embrace the Spectrum (Distinction Instead of Contradiction)

Cartesian duality assumes that opposites imply conflict. Like the great prophecy between Harry and Voldemort, neither can live while the other survives. If something is hot, than it must not be cold. There is nuance between the two and all-or-nothing thought processes tend to fail in some regard because they neglect that truth. While this-or-that can be exclusionary, this-and-that approaches are nurturing.

There will be moments along your behavior change journey that ask of you something slightly off to the left of what you’d set out to do. Diversions and accommodations are an inevitability of this process, use them as opposed to avoiding them. Find the space where “contradiction” and “distinction” meet to suit your needs best.

Gamify It

Fun is scientifically proven in improve outcomes, particularly in learning. Behavior change is a learning process, it is a process of skills development specified for behaviors. That’s it. As kids, we are cultivated in fun, playful environments. We get recess and activities that stoke curiosity, empower innovation, and lead to long lasting life lessons. Somewhere in life, we end up carrying the expectation of meeting standards, consumed otherwise by preparing to meet those standards. This is the byproduct of civilization, particularly on that is built on quantifiable validation. Big data aggregates, reduced into buckets of “either or”.

You are the master of your life. As such, fun cannot be fully taken from you. You look at your intended outcomes and explore creative ways to embark on that journey. You can do this by

Just Do It- For You (But What Does That Mean)

Lastly, and bigly, just do the thing. Every moment is a decision made whether we like it or not. You can either let the decisions happen, sans involvement, or you can actively engage where opportunity arises. There are the things we can and cannot control- as such, we should retain our power over the things we can control. The thing you can control is yourself. Your thoughts will happen, and mindfulness is the practice of engaging the response you have to the thoughts. Your words get spoken, and you can either speak without listening or you can hear yourself and speak impeccably. Actions require motivation, and you can have conscious awareness of those motivations through introspection and curiosity.

Your legacy is the result of your decisions made. Decisions should be made for your highest and best self given the tools and resources available to you at any given time. This approach can feel like one big platitude, but the bottom line is the simplest line. Start there. Take inventory of the choices you make that you know do not serve you. Take inventory of the choices you make intending to reduce harm and induce self care. Be honest with yourself, you cannot run from the mirror- at least not very far.

Op/Ed: Two Truths and One Lie

Shit is hard- life is inevitable suffering according to Buddha and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is selling you something according to Wesley from The Princess Bride. Each month, I take stock of what’s weighing on me and dive into that to “inspire” a tidbit of value if you, the reader, are feeling simpatico. When I sit down to write these snippets of stream of consciousness, however, I find myself stumped with the spin- the way I might “take a sad song and make it better”.

In a bigger sense, we avoid sharing too much, instead more inclined to respond with a “good and you?” when prompted to share how we’re doing. Month-over-month, particularly as of late, the spin has gotten a bit hard to twirl given the reality that we’re experiencing. At it’s root, we’ve lost the ability to hold two truths simultaneously- that life is struggle and that, nonetheless, we'll be okay. Our culture just isn’t conducive to an honest expression of feeling in a healing and communal sense, ya know? Instead, we get snagged by the lie that both can't exist at once, to a vital detriment.

Our interpretations of emotions, our assignment of feelings, require a version of assessment and community sharing in order to keep moving through us. If not, energy gets stuck- manifesting in body and spiritual blockages. This isn’t some woo-woo, conceptual explaining away- there is research that validates this truth. In a zero-sum culture, though, holding two truths is impossible. In an attempt to keep this brief, I’ll skirt the influences that have cultivated this culture of “conceal, don’t feel”. Suffice it to say, though, that those influences are outdated and ultimately feeding our lonely society.

These days, I wonder whether or not other folks struggle the same way with the processing power required to strategically reroute the energy in motion. With the way things are, it’s an easy trap to fall into. Other times, I feel confident that there is collective dis-ease feeding dis-ease through these limitations. Each of us has a unique reception and response to the emotions that we are confronted with, sure, we all experience them nonetheless.

As our ways of connecting (and general modern paradigm) shift, is there an opportunity to shift our approach to checking in and sharing to heal? Or are we doomed to a life of increasing ostracization? We grow most in the journey, so I’ll avoid arriving at one final destination. Whatever the outcome, the act of naming and investigating is an important part of fully experiencing the lives we live. The permission to simply feel- irrationally, freely, and unapologetically- is among our irrevocable rights as humans. So with that- feel! Be! and within, become!